A Letter To Pinterest

Dear Pinterest,

I’ve had some things on my mind for awhile now and I think it’s time we had a talk.

When we first met, well, frankly, I didn’t understand you and it took me awhile before I was willing to dig in.  I think I was intrigued by the private invitation and waiting period.  Then we spent a little time together and I was one smitten kitten.

Something about my boards soothed me and it was like you became my virtual therapist.

My husband was confused by our relationship.  He said he just didn’t get you or why I would want to spend my time with you.

‘A virtual pinboard?’ he questioned.  I could hear the judgment.  I didn’t care.

You made me feel like a party genius.  I could see the admiration on other mom’s faces and their nods of approval when I brought those orange triangular cookies with one end dipped in milk chocolate and the other dipped in white chocolate to look like a gigantic replica of candy corn to Ellis’ preschool Halloween party.    And who cares that it took 36 hours to make them?

I know the kids didn’t.

I also want you to know that I really appreciate all the tips on how to make an enchanted forest tablescape even though the candles and the wicker were NOT a good combination for the Blairs.

But…

Strange things have started happening.

Last week I went to a wedding.  I spent two weeks turning my friends’ wedding invitation into a mini-scrapbook signed by the whole family and then decoupaged and shadow-box framed it.

I got Pinterested and they received exactly four of the same thing.

Then there is all this pressure that there wasn’t before.  We were invited to a party a few weeks back and when I showed up with a bag of Fritos and a can of bean dip still in the Super 1 sack, you could’ve heard a mouse fart in the kitchen.  I knew I should’ve gone with the seven layer dip served out of mini individual cups with chips arranged to simulate a flower.

But it’s really the expectations that are killing me, Pinterest.  I see the look of disappointment on my kids’ faces when I don’t have enough glow sticks to turn their bath into the glow-in-the-dark disco party all the kids at school are having.  Or the quiet tears my daughter sheds because I can’t do her hair in a dovetail twist without a part and with a side French braid topped with a live orchid.  And now every time the kids are bored, which is every 12 minutes in the summer, they expect a Nature Discovery Scavenger Hunt or want to make Unicorn Poop cookies or want me to cut some pool noodles into a marble racing track.

I think a wise woman on the local news summed it up once when she said, ‘Ain’t nobody got time for dat.’

Listen.  I am sure I am the only one who feels this way…it’s not me.  It’s you.  I mean…whatever.

I’m not saying I won’t come see you every now and then.  Or even tonight.  We will always be friends.  I’m just saying…I’ve got to lower the bar again.  It’s what I do…just ask the Elf on a Shelf.

Love,

Melissa

PS You were genius with that cilantro lime cucumber salad.

PPS Who knew that cake stands needed tulle skirts?!

 

Just a little something I whipped up for the kids as an after-school snack.
Just a little something I whipped up for the kids as an after-school snack.

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17 COMMENTS

  1. Kim Rike | 17th Jan 14

    Bwahahaha! So true & so funny! I have the same relationship with Pinterest that do with autocorrect: genius when it works, complete failure & waste of time when it doesn’t, yet still a source of amusement!

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 17th Jan 14

      Kim! You are so right! Autocorrect AND Pinterest. And Siri. Ha! Like I said, ‘I’m sure I’ll see you tonight.’ 😉

  2. Ali | 17th Jan 14

    Just pinned that cucumber salad last night!

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 17th Jan 14

      Ali, come over and I will make it for you. But I won’t clean my house or build you a veggie tower. 😉

  3. Danielle Weston | 17th Jan 14

    We’ll said & thx for the laugh!

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 17th Jan 14

      Danielle, Thanks, girl. 😉 I can’t pass up a chance to poke fun at myself. I’m craftily-challenged.

  4. Nicole | 17th Jan 14

    Maaaann, you stole my comment!! The whole time I’m reading, I’m crafting this clever Elf on the Shelf comment, and then whoomp there it is. #psh #loveit #greatmindsthinkalike #dopeoplehashtagonblogposts #letmeseewhatpinterestsaysaboutthat

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 17th Jan 14

      Nicole, Hashtags are always accepted on my blog. #always #goodmorningglorry

  5. Gabby@mamagab | 17th Jan 14

    And then there was that time I turned my feet blue in a Listerine foot bath. Thank you, Pinterest!

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 17th Jan 14

      Gabby, Ha! I want to hear about this one 😉 Also, don’t put mayonnaise in your hair the night before a big event.

  6. Jennifer | 17th Jan 14

    Bahaha!! Pinterest is Satan on Earth, I am positive! Look I can barely work a glue gun and when other moms weren’t exposed to all these ideas I stood a chance, sadly Pinterest has ended all that. Sigh 🙂

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 17th Jan 14

      Jen, I’m working on getting that bar low for us. I’m your girl. Vive la Fritos!

  7. Ali | 17th Jan 14

    Let’s do. I could today but I’m busy spray painting a monogram on a straw door mat along with a monogram wreath for my front door. Oh and look I’m wearing that monogrammed hoodie at the same time. I’m so selfless! Sorry!

  8. Allison | 13th Feb 14

    I. Love. It. Hilarious!! 🙂
    At least you’re not the hypocrite that I am. I pin all of those recipes knowing full well I am never going to try them. 😉

  9. Niki Reed | 3rd Mar 14

    I love this! I have my issues with being a “good” mom. It’s good for me to find the humor in not being at EVERY school party or having cookies for breakfast!
    #immymotheranditurnedoutfine

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 5th Mar 14

      I think we put the pressure on ourselves, right? I know I do, so I better laugh about it! (I promise I make you look good-ha!) Thank you for commenting. I’m so glad to hear from you!

  10. Summer 101: How to Survive Kids When the Heat is on | 30th Jun 15

    […] these don’t work out, Pinterest can also be […]

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