Summer 101: How to Survive Kids When the Heat is on

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Summer with a bunch of kids is a lot like your favorite tankini: it starts out feeling good in all the right places but as August approaches, it becomes threadbare and frayed and just not a good fit anymore. As mamas, we are always ready for the break from school routine and the beatdown of the school-year calendar.
I’m not sure if it’s the pressure of Summer Cruise Director coupled with the Texas heat or the little bodies buzzing around my head like mosquitos that curiously prefer just me….

By the time we smell August, we are all just a little Mad Cow.

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Needing a little order and routine back in our days, after awhile we are begging that stupid calendar to slap us around a bit.
It’s a vicious, real cycle, y’all.
So how do you survive summer without this being your resting face:

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With thirteen of these hot seasons full of kid under my swim skirt, I think I may have come up with some practical tips for you, Mama.

If these don’t work out, you can check out Pinterest for better ideas (or just write them a letter for fun):

Summer 101

*Learn to sing a song we hate. I see that most of my summer issues stem from my year-round control issues. Summer is out o’ control by nature because people. In your house. All the time. Did you sit in unidentifiable sticky and now you’re stuck to said chair like Kim to Kanye? Were you thinking you were going to have a 9 pm bowl of cereal but instead are met with an empty box? Forget about how you just put the pillows back on the sofa and now they are all in a(n) (admittedly admirable) fort dang it and (sing it with me):

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*Eat popsicles for breakfast. This makes you Fun Mom. Your kids probably won’t remember you wrapping up the ‘sicles with napkins and making them sit at the table until they’re done and then fussing at them because they left the snips of plastic and scissors on the floor. Plus, you can update your Facebook status and show everyone how you don’t have control issues and you are a fun mom.
*Jingle all the way. From Advanced Psych class back in college, I trained a sweet rat named Sigmund to get his own dinner. It just took two days and some audible cues to associate with getting it right. Want to eradicate the words ‘Shut the dooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ from your vocabulary forever? Hang these on your door and teach your kids what happens when they don’t shut the door when they hear the jingle. (caution: this could make them jumpy at Christmas. On a positive and scientifically-proven note: gummies are good incentive for short human types).

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*Glory daze your kids. If you tell them once, tell them 114 times about how when you were young in the summer all you had to play with was an empty thread spool in the hot driveway or how your mom would lock the door in the morning and make you play outside until supper time or even how hard it was to carry an Atari around with you all day so you could play it.
They will sooner-than-later realize it is never worth it to tell you they are bored. Or they will just fall asleep.

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*Wear pajamas more. Just trust me on this one.
*Repeat two words near-constantly. All’s grace. All’sgraceall’sgraceall’sgraceall’sgrace….(and don’t forget to give yourself some of that, too.)

*Don’t forget how to play. Remember pumping your legs to swing higher than the moon? Remember when all you had to think about was the ice cream cone in your hand? Or what about playing in the rain? Stop being practical and find your silly pants. These are the best things your kids will remember about this summer.

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*Savor this time. The days are long but the years are short. Too short. This is the only This Summer you have with your babies when they are this age. Eat ‘em up like cold watermelon on a hot July day.

Happiest Summer, Friends.

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4 COMMENTS

  1. Nicole | 30th Jun 15

    #loveit #openinvitationtobringyourpeopleoverforpopsiclesandcoffee #nthatorder

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 3rd Jul 15

      #coffeebeforepopsicleandnobodygetshurt #mamaseriousboutdatcoffee #missyou #seeyousoon

  2. Holly | 30th Jun 15

    you.crack.me.up – that is all!

    • melissablair09@gmail.com | 3rd Jul 15

      Big kissy face emoticon. Looking forward to cracking you up in person on a fun girl’s trip to check out the Magnolia soon 😉

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